So, apropos of nothing and not even an original thought: I really feel for really beautiful people. Especially those who are acutely aware of their beauty. Especially women. What kind of life must it be to be that desirable? “Come come!”, you say, “Isn’t that what everyone wants? Isn’t that why plastic surgeons can retire and buy a small Caribbean island?” And yes I will grant you the travails of being hauntingly b are not many. But consider the potential dark side:
I wonder if they grow up with people easily attracted to the sheer luminescence of their physical features: their eyes, skin, shapeliness or some combination thereof? And as result they never fully develop the social skills that most people have to build in order to attract friends and mates. I wonder if they find themselves full grown and lacking some of the basics that the hoi polloi have to develop; doomed to perhaps standing around, waiting for people to come up to them and gasp!, like them. I wonder if they are basically damned to being uninteresting – good to have but not to hold? Yes, yes we envy them the many chances to copulate with other people, but imagine the confusion at the profusion of potential mates! How to make a good decision?! What criteria to use?! When to stop cashing in the many options of beauty and settle down? Ad nausuem. There is even some basic psychological
science, and of course (I did say this is not an original thought) lots of commentary, on the dangers that the dedicatedly gorgeous face, when they walk amongst us earthlings. The practical truth is that I’ve started to note many gorgeous beauties that are either alone or have made bad decisions on who to shack up with in a permanent way. In contrast I find that some of the most fascinating people I know tend to be either north or south of just ‘fetching’. Really old and well developed souls.
The great civil war leader Emeka Ojukwu married a young beauty queen in his early dotage. Bianca Onoh was really stunning when she was younger. She was the first Nigerian woman to win a major international beauty pageant. I’ve always been a bit disdainful of the very comely (not impervious mind you, mildly suspicious; my early girlfriends were good to look at). I was raised to trust in the cerebral. But one day, when I was still a stripling, I ran into this woman at Ogbete market (an open air market in Enugu, Nigeria) and was literally floored by her beauty. I haven’t had that kind of experience ever again in my life. Really. Market people milled around her like nervous bees. It was actually pretty awesome. And a bit unapproachable. And then she pops off and marries a guy more than 30 years older. Look, she probably did alright in the end but you have to wonder….
Honestly, if you’re extraordinarily handsome or beautiful, the best advice is to ignore that reality for a second and work hard at developing a great personality, interests and passions. That would make you that much more irresistible. And perhaps a bit more grounded. You might need it.
As a bonus, check out gorgeous pictures of Ogbete market in the link above. Here’s one: